Completing our family… The freezer is empty!
After such and incredibly long and emotional journey it is so amazing to think that I will be a mom of two. There were so many times I lost hope or gave up. Many times I cried or I was angry. I’m so thankful for the support that surrounded me and the faith that I grew up with and made my own.
Infertility is a long and lonely time. No one quite understands unless they've been there. There were many times I had completely lost faith and even times I was angry at God. I couldn’t believe he would keep the one thing from me that I so desperately wanted. Then there were other times I blamed myself. I didn't know what I could have possibly done to be punished with infertility. Did I ruin my fertility somehow? I am mostly vegetarian, maybe I wasn’t getting enough protein. Maybe God just didn’t think I was good enough to be a mom. Then add in the guilt. It was my body that wasn’t cooperating. I wasn’t able to give my husband a child.
On this side of infertility I realize how untrue any of that thinking truly is. Even while going through it there were times I knew I wasn’t being rational, but I couldn’t convince myself otherwise.
Please, let me just tell you, if you are going through infertility…
God did not forget about you!
This is not your fault!
So, here we are more than 12yrs later. Baby #2 is out of the freezer and in the oven! Baby #1 just woke up from nap and is snuggled up against me. It is not all puppies and rainbows. Pregnancy is hard sometimes. Parenting is harder, but I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a mom.
Since I’ve been quite open about my story I’ve heard so many other stories from women who have been there. Every story is unique. Some include miscarriages and loss. Some the frustration of nothing month after month. I’ve been amazed by the mothers I have met and the different routes taken to get to motherhood. So many beautiful adoption stories and treatment stories. Every story is beautiful and every child very much loved.
So, basically, this is my official announcement that baby #2 is on the way. In 2016 we started the IVF process. We did a fresh cycle and transferred two embryos. I have been loving being Declan’s mommy (most of the time, during the poop disaster this morning I think I was a bit irritated). During the original IVF process we had one embryo that was strong enough to be frozen. We knew we would use that embryo eventually, but didn’t know the timeline. This fall the timeline fell into place and we started the frozen embryo transfer process. We kept the process to ourselves this time and oh the joy! We got to surprise our immediate families at Christmas! That is our news!
Don’t give up hope. Don’t give up faith. In the difficult times, which I know there are many, lean on those around you.
