God’s Way

God’s Way

Week #5

Scripture Reference: Proverbs 3:6

            Proverbs 3:6 tells us to seek God in all that we do. The best part about this scripture is that it doesn’t end in a command. This scripture ends in a promise. If we seek Him in all we do, He will show us which path to take. I love that God has promised us His provision. He isn’t going to leave us hanging, He is going to direct us in the way we should go. (Psalms 119:105)

                This is easier said than done. We have learned this from very personal experience. As I shared in the first blog, I expected to be done having children by the time I was 27 years old. By the time we were a couple years into this journey we were so frustrated. We took matters into our own hands. We did several rounds of Clomid, IUI’s and one cycle of IVF. We did things our way. The way we thought made sense. Not once did we stop and pray about whether or not we should have done any of these treatments. We prayed for the treatments, but we never prayed about doing the treatments.

Now, please know, I am not saying there is anything wrong with doing fertility treatments. Nor am I saying that we would have done anything different. However, it would have been nice to know that God directed us to take those steps. It is vitally important to try to stay on the path that God directs. I am not saying that mistakes won’t be made. However, I would prefer to make a mistake knowing that I was seeking God’s guidance and not doing things my own way.

A great example of doing things her own way is Sarah. Genesis 11:30 states that Sarah was unable to have children. However, there is more than one time that God promises to Abraham that he will be the father of many nations. Since Sarah was unable to have children she developed her own plan. She did what she thought made sense.  Take the time to read Genesis 16, but the short story is …

Sarah had a servant that she decided could have a child for her and Abraham. This is back before fertility treatments and there was only one way to get pregnant. She told her husband to sleep with her servant.  Can you imagine how well this turned out? Abraham sleeps with the other woman and she becomes pregnant. Yeah, this would not go over well with anyone. Let’s just be very honest, irritation and jealousy for this other woman would be very strong.

 It is very clear that this was her way and not God’s way. Fortunately, we serve a merciful and gracious God. As God promised in Genesis 17:16, Sarah later gave Abraham a son. Even through all of her mistakes, God still blessed her.

WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT:

Take the time this week to pray for direction. God could be leading you to do treatments, adopt or even to wait. Be sure to do your best to stay in His plan for your life. That is the best place to be.

Refocusing Part III: What Great Things?

Refocusing Part III: What Great Things?

Week #4

Scripture Reference: Jeremiah 29:11

Sometimes when you are going through a situation like infertility everything can become very overwhelming. Mother’s day, baby showers, birth announcements can all seem like a cruel joke. I often wondered why God would allow me to go through this.  I couldn’t figure out why I was being punished. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I forgot to look around me and see the great things God was doing in my life.

In this blog I encourage you to get focused on what great things God has done in your life while you’ve been walking this journey. Start thinking about what more He can do. Pastor Jeff recently said in one of his sermons that an unanswered prayer is not a prayer denied. I am not telling you to stop praying for your future family, but I am telling you that God can do great things through you while you wait for your family!

In personal experience, my husband and I would not have moved to Wilmington, NC if we had had children when we planned. I also can’t guarantee that either one of us would have graduated from college if we had started a family when we first got married.

If we aren’t good enough examples, look at Joseph (Genesis 37-47).  Look at everything he accomplished. He was sold into slavery by his brothers. Finally gets everything together and then gets thrown into prison.  Through it all he stayed faithful to God. He stayed focused. I guarantee it took effort on his part to stay focused while he was in prison. Look at the great things God did through him when it seemed all was lost.

I encourage you to stay focused on God and the great things He has already done in your life. Then,  just imagine the great things He will still do through you. He’s got good plans for you!

WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT:

What are some of the things God has done in your life? What are some things He can still do in your life?

Refocusing Part II: Who is God?

Refocusing Part II: Who is God?

Week #3

Scripture Reference:  Isaiah 9:6

            It is so easy to get focused on our problems, and lose focus on how big and how good our God is.  The scripture reference I picked today was funny to me because I can remember singing this verse when we sang the Messiah in high school, but the song never hit me like I did when I read it recently. This scripture says that God is a wonderful counselor, mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. How amazing that He is on our side.

                As I’ve said we need to continually refocus. And what better to focus on than who our God is. All through the Bible the name of God means different things. 

1. Elohim is the All-powerful One, Creator. God created you! It's is amazing to me that and all-powerful God took the time to create us.

2. El Roi means the God who sees me.  Think about it, God sees us. The God that created everything on this earth sees us. An all-powerful God sees us. He pays attention to us. (Luke 12:7)

3. El shaddai means the All Sufficient One.

4. Immanuel means God with us. 

5. Jehhovah Jireh means the Lord will provide. Think about how many times you didn't know how you would make something work and how many times God has come through for you. It's amazing to think that God provides.

6. Jehovah Rapha is the Lord who heals. 

7. Jehovah Shalom is the Lord of peace. Even when it seems that you are in a situation that should be stressful, remember God is the Lord of peace and he is with you. (Philippians 4:7)

These are just of few of the characteristics of God.

                We have so much to be thankful for because we serve a God who loves us. He says he is our peace, our healer and that He will provide for us. God is a big God. He is bigger than any problem that we could come up against. God is a good God and has good plans for us. (Jeremiah 29:11) We just have to stay focused on Him. I encourage you to take the time to look into the characteristics of God and turn your focus onto how big He is.

WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT:

Research the characteristics of God. You will find that God is everything that you need Him to be. Last week we focused on His goodness, but there is so much more to God. He is so much bigger than we can imagine.

Refocusing

Refocusing

Week #2

Scripture Reference:  Romans 12:2

            The first thing we need to realize is that renewing our mind, or refocusing is a constant task. You don’t just wake up and no longer struggle with infertility. The Bible says not to copy the way the world acts, but to change our way of thinking. When someone is struggling with infertility it is really easy to get caught up in the pity party of it all.

I can’t tell you how many months I’ve cried. I can‘t even say that I handled the failure of the IVF wonderfully. At one point I quit everything. I was the director of the puppet team at our church in Ohio. My husband was a vital part of the sound department. Somewhere through our journey we just snapped. We quit everything. We basically isolated ourselves from everyone.  We stopped going to church all the time. To be completely honest, there was a point that we were mad at God.

We’ve come a long way since then, but here is the kicker, there are still times I struggle with some of the same thoughts I had back then. I still get sad and angry and jealous.  This is why it is vitally important to continually renew your mind and get refocused on God. It makes the problem seem less impossible to walk through. As Christians walking through infertility we have something. We have hope. We have a loving Father who has good plans for us. (Jer 29:11)

WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT:

Last week we took a step back and evaluated our lives. We focused on the good things in our lives. This week dig deeper into the Bible and find the scriptures that help keep your focus on God’s goodness. Take one of those scriptures and make it your focal point. Hang it up on your refrigerator or mirror. Carry it around with you and every time you lose focus try to remind yourself how good God is!

Intro

Intro

Week #1

Scripture Reference:  Psalms 34

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for most of our marriage. I always grew up thinking I would get married and have children.  My mom was done having children by the time she was 27yrs old and I always assumed it would be the same for me. Well, I am 31yrs old now and I don’t have children yet.  I have a wonderful, amazing husband, but we don’t have children.

                This throws a major wrench into the idea of how we wanted to live our lives. We assumed I would be a stay at home mom. So, we took matters into our own hands and started fertility treatments. I have endometriosis so we started with treating the problem. It’s something that we are still treating and I recently had to make the decision to go on birth control again to handle the pain. To treat the endometriosis I’ve done five months of Lupron , numerous rounds of birth control and three surgeries. Then you add in fertility treatments and we’ve done 4 rounds of clomid, 4 rounds of IUI and an IVF cycle. This has been a long journey. One that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but many women all around me are going through a similar situation.

                The question is: how do you cope when your dream of having a family seems dead? It is simple, really. Okay, a simple concept, but much more difficult to walk out. I am not saying I have been perfect through this walk. In fact, the more we go through this blog, the more I will show my imperfections and the imperfections of the women in the Bible who have gone through the same infertility journey. God doesn’t need us to be perfect; He needs us to trust Him. So, the answer is this…The Bible doesn’t promise that life will be easy. The Bible promises that we will have troubles, but the Bible also promises that God will come to our rescue. (Psalm 34:19; John 16:33) Instead of focusing on how big you may think the problem is, we need to train ourselves to focus on how big our God is.

WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT:

First things, first. Let’s get our focus onto the good things in life. I was complaining to a friend once about this being the hand that was dealt to me. I said it was a stinky hand. He reminded me that I was dealt a great hand; I just got one stinky card. When I actually looked at my life, he was right.

What are the positives in your life? What are you thankful for? Get your focus on those things.