Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem

            Today’s blog is going to be quite different. If really has nothing to do with infertility, but it is all about hope. In today’s society it is really easy to struggle with self-esteem issues. I recently wrote a letter to one of my family members and wanted to pass some of the information I am sending to her onto to anyone else who may need it. Honestly, I think every once in awhile everyone could use a reminder of how amazing they truly are. I hope you enjoy this blog.

            When I was younger I constantly struggled with thinking that I might not be good enough for anything. I thought I was ugly and that no one liked me. At about 12yrs old I was on the puppet team at our church and I can remember going home from every practice crying. One night in particular I remember walking in and all of the girls looked at me and walked to another room so that they wouldn’t have to talk to me. People can be mean, especially when they are young and don’t know any better. They also weren’t aware that I felt like a loser all of the time. I felt like the ugly duckling.  Then when I was about 19yrs old I dated a boy that only increased my feelings of insecurity. He told me that comparing myself to one of my friends was like comparing him to Denzel Washington. Having a boyfriend tell me that she was so much prettier than me only increased these negative feelings. No matter what I did, I never felt like I was good enough.

            I could tell you countless stories like the two I just typed, but that is not the purpose of this blog. I am doing great and I understand that my self-worth is found in Jesus. Time and time again I focused on this scripture

Romans 8:38-39

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This is my favorite verse of scripture because it tells me that I am good enough. It tells me that nothing can separate me from God’s love.

There are four areas that I would like to cover.

11)      Knowing who you are in Christ

22)      …because you are the child of the King

33)      Real Beauty

44)      Don’t compare yourself to others.

Knowing who you are in Christ

            The Bible is very clear about who you are and how God sees you. God sees you as wonderful. You are His creation, His handiwork. He has a plan for you.

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

            Notice this scripture says that God has good plans for you. Again, He thinks you are wonderful. You are who He created you to be. He created you with specific talents! You are wonderful!

Psalm 139:14

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

You are WONDERFULLY made!

You are MARVELOUS!

God made you to be exactly who He needs you to be!

…because you are the child of the King

John 1:12

¹² Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—

            You are the child of the King.  When you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, He adopted you in as His child. You have the most amazing Father that there has ever been.

Galatians 3:26

²⁶ So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith

Every morning when you wake up you need to look in the mirror and say “I am a child of the King!” You aren’t the child of just any King. You are the child of the King of all kings.

Revelation 17:14

¹⁴ They will wage war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will triumph over them because he is Lord of lords and King of kings—and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful followers.”

            Not only are you the child of the King of kings, but He cares for you. Like I said earlier nothing can separate you from His love, and He has good plans for you.

1 John 3:1

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

Real Beauty

1 Peter 3:3-4      

³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

            You should be striving for inner beauty. That is the beauty that will change lives. You being nice and walking in love toward someone could change their life. It could save them and be the hope that they need. Your physical appearance will never help anyone or change anyone’s life. Your gentle and quiet spirit is the beauty you should be growing. Focus more time on growing these qualities in your life, rather than the outer quality that doesn’t benefit anyone.

Galatians 5:22-23

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Don’t compare yourself to others

            I can’t stress this point enough. Do not compare yourself to others! God did not create you to be them. God created you to be you! If you continuously compare yourself to someone else you will never be happy with who you are. You are who you were created to be. God created you for a specific purpose.

John 15:16

¹⁶ You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

            Do not ever let anyone convince you that you aren’t good enough. God chose you!

Where to Run?

Where to Run?

Scripture Reference: Philippians 4:7

           

I’ve been thinking about what to write for this blog all week. I’ve been praying for God to give me the words that would comfort anyone going through a difficult situation. That burden has only become stronger in light of this week’s horrible events.

There is nothing that I can say or do that would take away the sorrow that anyone is feeling. I can only point you in the right direction of the one who can truly bring you comfort. No matter what you are going through there is only one who can get you through it. The Bible says that nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39). No matter what you do or how you feel nothing can tear you from God’s love. You are His and He cares for you!

The Bible says in John 16:33 that we will have trials and sorrow. The Bible does not say that life will be perfect. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world. That same scripture tells us to have peace because He has overcome the world.

I encourage you, if you are having a rough time, if you feel beat up and discouraged, run to God. Fall into His arms and let His love comfort you. He is all you need.

Philippians 4:7 says that God gives us a peace that passes all understanding. You may be going through a situation where it may not even make sense for you to be at peace, but God’s peace doesn’t always make sense. God loves you. He wants you to be at peace and have strength. He will be your strength.

Psalm 34:18 says that God is near the brokenhearted. He is there for you and wants to bring you comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4  says “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

God comforts us through our troubles, but we should in turn comfort others. God is a giving and generous God, and that is what we are to strive to be.

When you are celebrating Christmas this year remember how much God loves you (John 3:16). Run to him for comfort!

We sang a song in church this morning. The song is called Everything Falls by Fee. Let this song be a reminder on where you should be running. The lyrics to the Chorus are 

“When everything falls apart your arms hold me together 

When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart

When everything falls apart and my strength is gone I find you mighty and strong,

you keep holding on You keep holding on.”

You can listen to the song at http://youtu.be/ZvjJ9TYA8cE

God’s Faithfulness

God’s Faithfulness

Scripture Reference: Psalm 33:4

            We discussed in the last blog how you sometimes have to make an effort during the holiday season to focus on the good and not on whatever situation you may be going through. There are many situations that can make this time of year difficult. For me, it has always been a dream to have children and share the holiday season with them. To have the home made Christmas decorations for the tree and wake up Christmas morning and have children that are so excited that Santa came. I have dreamed over and over again of the traditions that I would start with my family. This time of year it can be very easy for me to get caught up in a pity party for myself.

            We begin to center the season on our own traditions. However, the center of the season is not what we may or may not have. The center of the Season is Jesus! The center of the season is that we serve a God that is so faithful that He sent us the greatest gift of all. He sent us Jesus.

            Sometimes, especially when you grow up in church you hear words like faithful and the full impact of that word gets lost in translation. I have to admit, even to write this blog I needed to look up exactly what faithful meant. I knew the definition, but I didn’t understand the full impact of what it meant that God is faithful. The Webster dictionary gave several great definitions for faithful. I chose three definitions to share today:

•          Steadfast in affection or allegiance: loyal
•         Firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty
•        Given with strong assurance: binding

God is all of these things. He is faithful to us. This is definitely something to celebrate! Do not stop praying for the desires of your heart. God is faithful and hears your prayers.

•   Psalm 136:2 says that God’s faithful love endures forever! I love this verse of scripture. It goes right along with my favorite verses in the Bible, Romans 8:38-39. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. This is an amazing promise!
•   Psalm 33:4 says that God is faithful in all He does! That pretty much sums it up. He is faithful in everything!
•   1Corinthians 1:9 says that God is faithful to do what He says! I love this promise. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 1:20 that all of God’s promises are Yes, and Amen! Then Psalm 37:4 says that God gives us the desires of our hearts. Keep praying! Find the direction you are supposed to go. God will get you there.

So this Christmas season remember that God is faithful and celebrate His faithfulness. He is the reason for the Season. Do not let infertility steal your Joy!

Merry Christmas or Bah Humbug…

Merry Christmas or Bah, Humbug…

It’s your choice

Scripture Reference: Deuteronomy 30:19

            The holiday season is upon us. It is a wonderful time of year. Of course, it can also be one of the most difficult times of the year.

            It starts with Halloween. This is one of the biggest photo ops of the year for some parents. They get to dress their kids as butterflies, angels, football players, pirates; they get the opportunity to dress up their already cute child and get a ton of pictures. All in all, this is a lot of fun for both the parents and the children. I am sure you can see that this holiday would be difficult on someone who is going through infertility. However, I have to admit I love seeing all the pictures and always appreciate being one of the people that personally get sent the pictures, but there was a time when these pictures had the ability to make me sad.

            Now we move on to Thanksgiving. Honestly, for me, this has always been the easiest holiday in this part of the year. I won’t spend a lot of time here.

            Christmas is the real kicker. It is supposed to be a holly, jolly season. If I am to be completely honest, I will admit that it has not always been all candy canes and Christmas trees for me.  I have allowed myself to be that bah, humbug person for a couple of years.

I can remember one year my brother and his family decided they were going to have Christmas morning at their house. My family tradition had always been to spend the night at my parents’ house and start Christmas morning right away. My brother’s family had every right to make their decision. In fact, I support it 100%. They have a daughter and what family doesn’t want that special time to themselves in the morning?  However, at the time I was devastated. I called my mom on my way to work sobbing. I couldn’t figure out what Jason and I were supposed to do Christmas morning. We didn’t have children to surprise on Christmas morning. Christmas traditions are so centered on children and their responses, and because Jason and I had not had children, I felt so robbed of that experience.

Another year, four of my cousins were pregnant at the same time. In fact this has happened twice in the amount of time that Jason and I have been trying to get pregnant. However, that first year was the most painful. I had just started going through this journey and didn’t have a clue what emotions would attack. Most of my family did not know at that time what all we had been going through, but I felt like that entire Christmas party was focused on my pregnant cousins. As it should have been, it was very exciting for all of them to be pregnant at the same time. However, I felt as though that they were all in this exclusive club that I wanted so desperately to be a part of and just couldn’t. I was absolutely devastated.  I can remember they had all of the pregnant cousins stand together to take a picture and then they showed everyone the picture. I don’t blame them, but this was very difficult for me. Now, I want to be very clear, all my baby cousins born from those times are some of the most amazing children I have ever met. They have impacted our lives more than anyone will ever know and I am so thankful that I did not allow my own sadness and jealousy to affect my relationship with my cousins or their children. They had every right to act excited and there was no need for them to walk on egg shells around me. Do not ever expect anyone to act differently around you because they are pregnant. You will miss out on so much if you expect people to treat you differently.

Now, the choice is up to you. You can allow yourself to let situations like I described consume your entire holiday season, or you can choose to celebrate the season for all it is worth. Deuteronomy 30:19 tells you to choose between life and death. Then it goes on to tell you the correct answer. Choose life!!!! So how do you do that when the situation seems unbearable? You’ve got to make an effort.

Years ago, I used to be on the puppet team at my church. We used to travel and do competitions and one year we went on a week trip together. That is a long time to spend with the same people. Especially because this group was full of lot of strong personalities. For months before the trip our leader had us read the love scriptures (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) over and over again. This was our focus. I can remember as soon as we got to the dorms I got mad at someone and instantly went back to my room to read these scriptures. I had to remind myself what love looked like. I had to work to walk in love with everyone. It was not always easy, but I was able to because I made the effort. I had the opportunity to allow conflict to ruin my week, but instead chose to make an effort to have a good week.

This is the same concept you need to use this holiday season. I am not saying it is going to be easy. I am not saying that you will never be sad, jealous or angry. You can make this an enjoyable holiday season, but it may take some effort. Find the scriptures that talk about God’s goodness and mercy. The scriptures that say He has plans for you. Remember that God’s goodness and mercy follow you all of the days of your life (Psalm 23:6). Take the time to write down the good things in your life. Then when you are having a difficult time step away and get your focus back on these things. I don’t care if you need to sneak away to a restroom and cry and get refocused on the good things, do it! Take care of yourself and have a wonderful holiday season. Enjoy Thanksgiving and have a Merry Christmas!

WEEKLY ASSIGNMENT:

This week take the time to write down the scriptures that can help you through a difficult time. On the same piece of paper write down some of the good things in your life. Keep this paper close.