On the Other Side

        Twelve years. That is approximately how long it took us to get pregnant. A heartbreaking journey that almost destroyed our marriage. Now I think that strengthening of our marriage during that time has prepared us for the realities of being parents!

Let me start with sharing my delusions. I have always known being a mom would be difficult. Nothing in life is all rainbows and unicorns. I’m not a stranger to hard work. One of the comments that drove me crazy when I got pregnant was “your life will never be the same”. Well, no kidding. You mean I can’t just have a baby and continue life as normal? We tried for twelve years to get pregnant. We watched lots of friends and family have babies. We were prepared for this. Or so we thought! There is nothing that can be said that could ever possibly prepare you for parenthood.

I often question how I can possibly love being a mom so much and be exhausted and miserable at the same time. I can go days without a shower. Now, let me take full responsibility for this. My wonderful husband would gladly care for Declan so that I could shower, but there are times that I don’t even have the energy when Jason gets home from work. Also, in the evenings this boy takes a two-person team to manage! One of my friends helped me fold laundry and noticed she had only folded 2 pair of my underwear. This prompted the question “Sarah, when is the last time you changed your underwear?”. I actually had to think about this question. 

I am very much a perfectionist and strive to excel at whatever I do. I was certain I would be able to take care of my newborn, keep the house spotless and make healthy dinners every night. Ha! Reality, If Jason comes home and we both aren’t covered in spit up I count the day as a win! The reality is that I am four months in and the house is always a disaster, Jason has had to make dinner quite a few times because I am caring for Declan, but Declan has been taken care of. I was able to entertain and love on Declan all day! Some days are easier than others. I love to see his eyes light up when I start playing the turtle song. The smile when I sing A Bushel and a Peck. I lay on the floor with him while he plays and read him books. I cherish these moments. They won’t last forever.

Being a parent is disgusting! I knew babies pooped and spit up. I had no idea the true impact of a baby’s bodily fluids. I am constantly covered in some sort of bodily fluid including breast milk when I decide to leak! 

Did you know that blow outs can make it clear up to their shoulders? Seriously, there have been many times we just have an impromptu bath time. I learned on our first road trip to have plastic shopping bags in the diaper bag. Ever change a blow out in a Cracker Barrel bathroom? I have, he thought it was funny. 

Spit up that soaks both of us. I don’t even clean up the spit up that hits the floor anymore. I just call the dogs. They think it’s a treat! Does it help their immune systems too? Then there is the debate when you are getting ready to walk out the door. How bad is this really? Do I need to change either of our clothes? Often times I just opt for not changing. The spit up should be dry by the time we get to where we are going. I mean, what is the point in changing? He will either spit up or drool on me as soon as I get him out of the car seat.

Then, there is pee. I don’t care how fast you are, they are waiting! I think they prefer to pee outside of the diaper. Are diapers considered used if he pees into the diaper drawer while you are changing his diaper? Urine is sterile, right? Also, when they pee in the bath (which is every bath), it is diluted enough that it doesn’t count.

The sleep deprivation makes you do funny things. When we first came home from the hospital there were many times Jason accused me of putting the baby somewhere strange. My favorite was the night he thought I put Declan on the ceiling fan. Then there was the night he woke me up and kept asking me "where's the baby's head?”. After looking in the cradle I informed him it was on his body. One night I woke up totally freaked out because I didn't see him in the cradle. I was trying to figure out where I left him. He was in the cradle. So, it's been pretty calm for a couple months. Then, recently I grabbed Jason's head (I don't think gently) because I thought the baby was rolling off the bed. He does not sleep in our bed. Has never slept in our bed. I vaguely remember apologizing to Jason.

I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to experience parenthood. So far it is everything I’ve expected and more. It is not easy and I may go further into the early days some other time, but it is by far the biggest blessing. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for his faithfulness or tell Declan that he was the baby we were waiting for. We were waiting for him. 

Psalm 127:3

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.